Blog #8

As I fly ever closer to home I am unendingly engulfed with emotions and nostalgia. How is it that travel and the experiences contained therein can generate affective responses on such a level as to immobilize an individual? How do I return home to live my life in its former simplicity after a journey of such magnitude has shaken who I am to such an extent that my entire future plans have been thrown from its previous place of surety into a roulette of indecisive potential?

I am, to state it simply, in mental flux, but in more complex terms I have reached a point close to the end of my undergraduate career that desperately seeks the most secure path to an end goal of professorship. This trip has opened my eyes in this metaphorical sense: previously, I saw one path; a path that led to a Masters and later Ph.D. in an English-related field – though the route to success is shrouded in mist with a spotlight at the end It was a singular goal where I felt confident in my ability to navigate the unclear path. This trip has done both good and bad in the sense that it has illuminated that I am not approaching a singular path, rather a crossroads with a variety of potential ends. This is good because I see potential; I see possibilities created by my experiences, but bad in that now every decision at each fork in the road will forever affect my career and future henceforth. In many cases my strongest wish is that I had done this program two years ago, as I had originally planned, rather than waiting until now. If I had done so the time to make these types of decisions or prepare further to pursue certain decisions would have been more plausible.*

Why did I not prepare further? Supplementary language preparation would have furthered my experience in South Korea exponentially, allowed for deeper connections with Korean individuals, and as a whole reduced anxiety of situations where stress was often needless.

My experience in Korea is unforgettable. Korea is a beautiful nation with an abundance of history, friendly individuals eager to learn, and a busy yet seemingly smooth lifestyle. I will certainly return there again, but in what capacity is yet to be known. For now it is back to the grindstone of my degree and pursuits – further motivated and inspired.

*I am now faced with the decision of teaching English in Korea prior to pursuing graduate school, studying immersion Korean to prepare for an East Asian or Korean Studies masters program (which would entirely reroute my academic career), or continue my path as a rhetoric-focused English major pursuing English purely with the potential of teaching in either the United States or abroad.